Friday, February 26, 2010 0 comments

My Reflections...

I stand in front of the mirror... looking at my own reflections and ask...

do I know you?

       Who are you? 

           what happened to you? 

                why are you looking so sad? 

                        what with those fake smile on your face? 

                                              what have you done to yourself?

I close my eyes, take a deep breath.... in.... out... in... out...

Started holding my breath and open my eyes...

once again I look at my reflections in the mirror... release my breath slowly until I can feel the my chest is empty and started breathing naturally...

I blink my eyes twice and then begin my every morning routine... Applying make-ups and smile...

All I need is to show the confident me... the one that reflect me better than me.

Thursday, February 25, 2010 1 comments


Last night I have a dream... it's weird when things I've forgotten suddenly flashing back in my head. It feels real that I'm happy but sad at the same time... why does it keep coming back. When I thought I am ready to move on... 

I'm happy to be able to remember all those feelings back... but it make me even sadder than before. Waking up knowing that it's all just a dream... I don't really want to wake up...

I thought I have moved on but it seems like I've been stuck without knowing that I am. I thought I'm ready to move on but still I'm not... I thought... if I don't hate him it will be easy for me to go on... I thought if I don't love him it will be easy for me to stop thinking about him... but without even trying to do anything about it... I still can't move to the next chapter...

 I'm stuck with my pathetic life... 


Butterfly by GD

Every time I come close to you
(every time I'm kissing you)
Feel like I'm gonna dream every time
( I get butterly)

Unintentionally, I look the sky like
It looks similar to when you smile
Specifically your dazzling [smile] baby
My day consists of our romantic drama
Make me cry and smile no no no

I can't sleep, I call your name
I turn my head shyly (no matter what)
I like it this much
I rarely stop walking

Every time I come close to you
(every time I'm kissing you)
Feel like I'm gonna dream every time
( I get butterly)

Beautiful girl

Unintentionally, I look at the ground like
I flutter so much at your 3 lettered name baby
I'll heal your one small wounds
My love is you

Like a butterfly
You look for a flower, flutter around like a child
Your innocent eyes have a smile
Your body moves like the sky, the sky
Your eyes glimmer, glimmer
I've become like this
(You're the only one girl)

Every time I come close to you
(every time I'm kissing you)
Feel like I'm gonna dream every time
( I get butterly)

I'll promise the things I promise
We missed each other, and it makes me worry
Just to know the game it's all the same
What, it's this confusing
Though you can't trust guys
Love can be forever
Why do you push and pull
Can't act any more honest

Look at my eyes
You see my eyes
You see my lips
Listen to my heart
If you're listening answer me
Kiss me on the cheek
My memories
Yes my heart
Yes that be all I say
If our lovingness continues a lot
Then we'll never break up, trust me
I'll make love to you

Every time I come close to you
(every time I'm kissing you)
Feel like I'm gonna dream every time
( I get butterly)

Ye you're special to me
Your turn
La la la la la la la
Yeah my butterfly
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 0 comments

I'm happy even when I'm alone...

My niece... working?

My life getting busy this 2010.

I've planned for vacation but every planned have to be cancelled now.
I don't even have time to figure out how much weight I've put on...I don't even have time to fix my make up now. Some say's this is why I'm still single. I've put everything to my work... did I?

I don't know but I think this is what makes me think less about something else... I don't think I have to think about what I've lose over and over again... the only things that make me survive now is... my pride.

Do I care if I've broke up with my boyfriend? No... I don't care but I can't lose my pride. It's hurt me enough if someone steps on my pride... that's because I can only be who I am now because of my pride.

So what makes my pride more valuable... it's my work.
People can say I'm turning into something else but they can't say I've work less to be where I am.

People can say I'm a loner... but they can't say I have nothing at all.

To be where I am now... I dare not to lose this... I might don't have someone to love me... but I know something will not leave me... my pride.

Am I happy? I don't know... but until I found my soul mate I'll say this is what makes me happy... I'm happy enough to have something to rely on...